-> What, at this very moment, is lacking?<-





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What, just what, at the moment is lacking?

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Hello reader, welcome to this website. Thank you for reading. This blog is mainly what I write ever since I've started practicing Constancy. If you have any questions, please email me.

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What, just what, at the moment is lacking?


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what is, is. It's okay to be bored or angry. What matters is do we care enough to want the truth?

Sunday, May 15, 2005


sleepy man
Originally uploaded by Coral LPT.
there's a certain light
i've never seen before
people of the street
seen from a bus

faces alight
i see it
changes all the time
just stays the same

that woman in black
or man
what's she saying?

just being
i've had no such time
i've not had so much fun
just watching

coral at Sunday, May 15, 2005

Tuesday, May 10, 2005


1855hrs
Originally uploaded by Coral LPT.
the cold floor
and sunny day
remind me

it's the air
in the morning
green leaves

remind me.
i'm just bored
it's this cold
floor
and my cold feet
it's not poetry.

coral at Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Sunday, May 08, 2005


trees1
Originally uploaded by Coral LPT.
no blue skies today
the blues
are inside

just recognising
why takes
ages

it's not
going to happen
writing or reading

at least
noone's here
all quite quiet

trees love it
and so do i

coral at Sunday, May 08, 2005

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Constancy



Constancy is the bed-rock of my practice. It is the simplest thing, yet the hardest to do. From this moment on, I must never stop trying to be aware of myself. I must watch myself. Day and night, on and on, for ever, being aware of myself as completely as possible...Perhaps I think that I are aware, that I am wide awake. But I am not.
Being aware of myself as completely as possible means simply this: I must watch myself, examine myself,
my every thought
every action
everything I say
everything I do.

I must watch myself, constantly, as if my life depends on it, which, in a way, it does.
Full awareness of myself comes after some time of practising Constancy. At first it will feel like nothing, but then I may feel like a kettle slowly coming to the boil. There will be times when it feels as if the kettle is boiling furiously, I will feel under a nameless pressure, as if I want to throw up, but cannot. No matter, just carry on with the Constancy. Just keep on, keep on. It must be as constant as breathing, every second of every hour of every day, I must be aware of myself in this manner. And this feeling will grow, not just in intensity like the kettle analogy, but in many other ways. There will be times when I "wake up", and realize that I have been as if "asleep", that I have not been practising Constancy. Don't punish myself! Just gently restart the Constancy, and carry on. I must be gentle with myself, no competitive exercise, I cannot just force myself to be aware.Remember, it is not doing, but watching that shall occupy me. Be gentle, but do it! Lying in bed at night, before falling asleep, imagine that I am aware whilst asleep. When I wake up, stay still for a while and reassert my Constancy. Making tea, being bored at work, having a shit, watching t.v - all the time, Constancy." ~~Dave Mason (edited by Coral Toh)~Conversation~

The sun in the sky shines everywhere. Why does a cloud obscure it?

Everyone has a shadow following them. How can you not step on your shadow?

The whole universe is on fire. Through what kind of samadhi can you escape being burned?
~ Ko Bong ~

image from http://images.beggerlybend.com

coral at Sunday, October 17, 2004

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Meditation tips



image by Dave Mason


These are meditation tips I've copied from Dave Mason. I've found it very useful so far. This posture is not symbolic of Zen or Buddha-nature or anything like that. Like all things physical it is to allow for the release of energy.


There are 3 hints helpful to meditation, no matter what method you are applying . . .

(1)Keep returning to the strongest attention you can maintain.

(2)work on your posture till it is correct.


It is no exaggeration to say, that unless you strive for correct posture, you are wasting your time. It takes many years to achieve correct posture and it is very difficult. you must, without creating more bodily tension, encourage yourself to keep a straight back, allow your head and jaw to relax but the back of your head 'expands', giving the impression that your chin is 'tucked in' without forcing it. Tongue lightly resting on your top front teeth. eyes open or closed, must be focused about 10 feet away. Shoulders relaxed so your hands feel heavy. Whether sitting in a chair, or, in Lotus or Burmese, knees just below your hips. Apply this posture, release the inevitable tension by small bodily adjustments and relaxing, sinking, into the correct posture. Whether watching your breathing or not, it should come and go unforced. When it slows or stops, without panic, just hold your awareness of it. If your attention is wandering all over, put it in your belly just below the navel whilst relaxing chest and belly muscles. (Redouble your efforts to get right posture, doing all the above simultaneously.)

(3)Keep returning to the strongest attention you can maintain at all other times as well.

Our practice is 'what' we do, but our lives is 'where' we do it, and that's a constant 24/7 thing.

Good luck.

~Dave Mason~

Notes for 17/Oct/04: Noticing that 'inner'/'outer' doesn't seem to be different anymore. What is your feeling and what is mine? Is there some difference or what our thinking minds (SI)s make?

Makko-ho (Stretching Exercises): Go here

coral at Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Saturday, August 21, 2004

Questions




These are questions I ask Dave Mason on and off. He is the creator of this website. I practice Constancy (or try to practice), and always have lots of questions, so here they are. I update this post from time to time.


From ClearWithin Forums (click to enter)

Dave Mason: Before answering any of your questions we must establish the most important thing. that is, it is your practice and the direct experience of truth that matters. rather than trying to 'work something out' with your mind, practice hard and directly experience the truth for yourself. however, providing they do not interfere with the above it is appropriate to consider how to live in this world as well. to set up and intentional 'way of being in the world' need not clash with your practice. if it does, something is wrong and it needs sorting out.

1. Click here for Questions 1

2. Click here for Questions 2

3. Click here for Questions 3

4. Click here for Question 4

5. Click here for Statement 1

coral at Saturday, August 21, 2004

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Dialectics



From ClearWithin Forums
(click to enter)
1.When things are changing, identify each role of causes
leading to change , watch how those roles seem to change,
watch what else is changing besides ourselves, watch and
watch.
--------------> I would add this: dialectics as a notion can prepare us for patterns we see. Constancy does not impose a pattern on what is seen (so caution aound "identify") but allows patterns to emerge. (Dave Mason)

2.Clarify ourselves by watching. our own intentions for
watching, using this paradigm, and ways of using it. Watch and
watch despite what our SI makes of it, taking years and years
and years.
-------------> I do not know how long it will take, do you? caution, dialectics is not a paradigm (a model), it is a process. it's a process that could be loaded into a model (paradigm) but we do not need to take it that far. we do not need to make a model. as salt can enhance a flavour, so dialectics can season our practice, heightening our sight of patterns. (Dave Mason)

Patterns help us let go of thought-meanings, so feeling-experience can happen instead...

When the deeper feelings emerge they do not fall into our labels so easily. What others experience cannot really be comforting even though you seek this. You will be able to 'tell' what feelings are before or after when watching becomes even more established. When the deeper feelings emerge more readily, you will see that they bring their own truth with them.

"Yan Pan How would sometimes laugh happily or appear angry when he did the Tai Chi form. At his level, these emotions spontaneously appeared without intention" (Chen Wei Ming).

The difference between the 'model' of Cause and Effect, and Dialectics--->

You have a clear pond in front of you. You drop a pebble at on end of the pond and quickly drop a pebble in at the other end. at first, the ripples spread out uninterupted. then the 2 converging sets of ripples meet, interference occurs and a new set of ripples forms.

When 2 patterns meet, they create a third pattern. Cause can be seen but it is complex. Too often we see "third pattern" and assume second pebble caused it. Really, it is interaction and interference that caused the third (visible) pattern.

Even harder to see--> the person dropping the pebbles, the cause 'behind' the cause. did the person cause the pebbles to make the patterns? Or the person's desire to see and know? What 'caused' that desire to see and know manifest? What caused that? And what caused that? And so on . . . . .

It can be difficult to see the patterns. The patterns are multiple and interconnected, patterns nested within patterns. but if Constancy/Watching is maintained--> if dialectics is used as an aide to watching, used a bit like 'Holding' (described elsewhere), the multiple intersecting patterns reduce and resolve into a few dominant and persistent threads. you will 'sense' them long before you can actually describe them. It is crucial to watch the compulsion to describe. The more clearly you can see that, the more clearly your 'sensing' of patterns will develop.


Me: I understand now my compulsion to describe. It comes from a desire to understand..and a desire to understand is another function of the SI.

Dave Mason-------->: Yes, but is probably more complex than just an SI or instinctual function. what's "underneath" the desire to understand?

Me: I wish I could list all the properties of my SI but i know how my SI would make full use of that...

Dave Mason-------->: There would be no point to such a list, you do not need to count the trees in a forest to know you are in the woods.

Me: If we really use dialectics and if i really have to describe...seems that Constancy is allowing SI/thought-meanings, the thesis to become stronger, yet allowing Silence/feeling-experiences, its antithesis, to form as well.

Dave Mason-------->: This is certainly a neat idea. In fact, way too neat ! Let the SI create its meanings, let it try and impose order on the patterns but also try to let the patterns emerge. Perhaps give them more time. Watch the SI impose order but also not identify too quickly with the emergent maps. For example, it is unlikely that the Silence is the anithesis of anything the SI is playing with. Much of the SI's patterns will be competing reference points, many to do with patterns laid down whilst young conflicting with emergent patterns of adulthood. Some of the much deeper feelings may act as the antithesis to the core pain of existence. The Silence and the deeper feelings act together but are not the same thing. And that is about as much 'theory' as is useful. Theory like this is a dead stuffed animal in a glass case. Practice, the real doing, is wonderful . . . . . .
Dave Mason

Interesting site
Requires Flashplayer 6.0 to download.
Animation from Satsang Scribbles

coral at Saturday, August 07, 2004

Three Legged-stool


Image from http://images.beggerlybend.com

1. Great Faith
2. Great Courage
3. Great Question

1. Great Faith One-Pointed Effort.
No matter what conditions
Like a mother for a child,
only practice.
(no "my condition", "my situations" or lazy mind!)

2. Great Courage Total Concentration.
Like a cat
Catching a mouse
Waiting at the hole.
(no other concerns, no change of concentration)

3. Great Question "Who is hurting?"
Making one-pointed question continue
and continue
and continue
..ad infinitum

Zen Master Seung Sahn.

coral at Saturday, August 07, 2004

Friday, August 06, 2004

Red Lanterns

ran down road
impatient driver
fast bus

anger in
deep dark

alone under
angsana tree

behind the anger
weeping children
beckon


red lantern hangings
in every street

coral at Friday, August 06, 2004

Just me

waiting
at the
bus stop
in the rain,

bored.

and then,
trying to
trace
the contour

of a woman's face
on the giant
ad board.

Pink
shimmering
lip

and my voice
and my eye


then
the who
and the
why

watching
kicks in
and i find
nothing.

no more lips
no more eye

just me,
just me.

coral at Friday, August 06, 2004

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